


A Cat Don't Like (What's Easy to Come By)

by james



Series: Cats and Witchers, Oh My [1]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werecreatures, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Non-Human Jaskier | Dandelion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/james/pseuds/james
Summary: Loving someone doesn't mean they're never annoying, or that you never need to leave dead birds in their boots.This is what happens when you speak the same love language.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Cats and Witchers, Oh My [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771585
Comments: 48
Kudos: 858





	A Cat Don't Like (What's Easy to Come By)

Geralt's training and mutations had made him a light sleeper – when he slept at all, rather than mediate. There were times when he greatly appreciated it, and times when, deep down, he secretly and somewhat shamefully thought how nice it must be to sleep through interruptions.

He opened his eyes and glared at the grey furry tail winding itself around Geralt's nose. He batted it away and was not at all surprised when it fwapped right back into place. The weight of the tail's owner lay very annoyingly on his chest and Geralt looked in the direction the cat's head was pointing. The window, of course, and who knew what had grabbed Jaskier's attention.

“Do you fucking mind,” Geralt asked, knowing full well that no, he did not. He reached over and grabbed Jaskier around the middle, picked him up and plopped him down on the unoccupied side of the bed and rolled onto his side, away from the window.

He felt the tip of Jaskier's tail hit him in the back lightly, then for a long moment, neither of them moved. Geralt sighed, hoping Jaskier would just keep staring out the window and let him sleep.

“Me-er,” Jaskier demanded, and he leapt onto Geralt's shoulder. He poked his nose down into Geralt's face.

“I do not care,” Geralt said. Whatever it was Jaskier wanted, it could wait until morning. Or never.

He closed his eyes and absolutely did not move, even as he realised that probably Jaskier needed to sit on him to get a good vantage out of the window and was asking him to move closer. Which he was not going to do; he was going back to sleep and Jaskier could do the same in whichever form he pleased.

A cold nose touched his own and Geralt stifled the reflex to grab Jaskier and fling him across the room.

Probably in this form he'd be fine. He'd seen Jaskier fall from a rooftop in cat-form and land on his feet and run away without apparent trouble. Trouble other than the angry woman screaming out the window, flinging clothes out after him, which had actually been rather thoughtful of her, as it meant they didn't have to buy clothes to replace the ones lost.

The number of times Jaskier lost his clothes for good, Geralt could count on his fingers, toes, and the appendages of every single one of his brothers. Fortunately for them both, Jaskier was used to it and willingly made the money himself to pay for them all.

Geralt threatened to buy him wool trousers and a burlap shirt, dyed the ugliest brown he could find. (Jaskier was so insulted at the idea that he hadn't spoken to Geralt all morning, which Geralt considered a bonus. When Geralt mentioned how nice it had been, Jaskier switched to cat form, jumped onto his shoulder, and proceeded to talk in his ear for two hours.)

(When Geralt had realised they were near a river, he'd lead them towards it and had threatened to throw Jaskier in. Jaskier flung himself at Geralt, wrapping his arms and legs around him, and held on tight, laughing at him. Geralt had simply jumped into the river. Jaskier had not spoken to him for the rest of the day, but he had talked at length to Roach about how horrible and evil and wicked Witchers could be and wouldn't she rather be owned by a lovely and gentle cat.)

Right now Geralt just wanted to sleep, and the cold nose tapping against his own, repeatedly, like Jaskier thought Geralt was ignoring him, was making it difficult. Geralt glared at him as best he could, grateful that Jaskier could see in the dark _just fine_ so that Geralt's ire wouldn't be missed.

“Mew,” Jaskier said, sounding sweet and innocent and everything Jaskier was not.

“I do not care,” Geralt told him. “I am going back to sleep and if you don't want to be given to the innkeeper's five year old as a pet, you will let me.”

Jaskier mewed again, sounding unconcerned, and butted his head against Geralt's face.

Geralt sighed. “Why are you doing this.” He knew why, just as he knew why he had spent the entire day ignoring Jaskier as he talked and sang and pointed out every single bird, frog, and moth they passed on the road to town.

He'd suggested to Jaskier that he go chase whatever he liked while Geralt didn't stop to wait for him. Jaskier had given him a flat look and begun singing a song about how Witchers smelled like monster poo.

“That doesn't even rhyme,” Geralt had told him when he was done, so of course Jaskier had re-written it on the fly, added four verses, and threatened to teach it to every small child they encountered. He'd made a grand bow at the end, and Geralt had laughed, finally, and Jaskier had switched forms and leapt up, jumping onto Geralt's shoulder and draping himself there. 

Right now Geralt was not laughing. “Mewer,” Jaskier said, butting his head against Geralt's face again. Geralt spit out the cat hair that was stuck to his lower lip. As he opened his mouth to tell Jaskier he was going to be making cat stew if he didn't stop, Jaskier quickly leaned in and rubbed his face against Geralt's open mouth, leaving as much hair as possible behind.

Geralt sputtered, sitting up and hacking, wiping at the fuzz in his mouth. 

Jaskier sat quietly, tail wrapped around his front paws, and watched him.

“I am NOT--” Geralt began, and Jaskier licked his front paw and rubbed it against his face.

Why. Why had he let the bard follow him, all those years ago. Why had he reassured the young man that yes, he knew he wasn't human and no, he was never in any danger. He'd actually coaxed Jaskier into showing him his other form, whispering gently and holding him close that first time, when he'd seen just how frightened the small grey cat that Jaskier became, truly was.

They never hunted anything that wasn't actively hurting others, Geralt had assured him, over and over. Were-cats and other beings who were just living their lives were not and never would be a target. Geralt had even admitted that he liked the soft feel of Jaskier's fur and found the soft purring in his ear comforting.

Those conversations had led to other conversations, and had led to a few, but rather significant, changes in their relationship. Changes Geralt did not mind in the slightest, rather enjoyed, and found... well. 

Changes that he liked. Loved.

Geralt narrowed his eyes at Jaskier. There were times when Geralt had woken to beheaded mice on his pillow, and three more buried in his bags. In human form Jaskier had tried to claim they were gifts, they were a sign of his affection, but Geralt knew they were there with the explicit intent to be annoying.

Sometimes, technically, to be annoying _back_ , because Geralt gave as good as he got, claiming with a straight face that a childhood at Kaer Morhen hadn't taught him any other way to interact with others. The first time, Jaskier had got all soft and loving at him, but by the third or fourth time he'd figured it out and that had been the first time Geralt had a dead bird in his boot. 

But just because Geralt was fond of Jaskier didn't mean he didn't get sincerely pissed off or annoyed and yearned for the day when Jaskier would get distracted by the temptation of following another road and head off on his own, calling out that he would meet up with Geralt again, soon.

Which actually hadn't happened in awhile, and Geralt...wasn't really looking forward to when it did.

“I could still drop you out the window,” Geralt offered, but his heart was no longer really in it. When night had fallen, Geralt had wanted to sleep and Jaskier had wanted to play, so they'd compromised with Geralt going to bed and Jaskier had shifted in order to stalk and chase whatever he liked. Up to and including whatever he could see from his perch on top of Geralt.

“Meeeeeew,” Jaskier said, batting at the blankets.

“You could just switch and crawl under here on your own,” Geralt pointed out. But he sighed, and he knew he'd lost this round when he lifted up the edge of the covers. Jaskier leapt forward, plunging underneath, and crawled around for a moment. Geralt made himself comfortable, then waited.

Eventually Jaskier made his way to a spot against Geralt's back and curled up, then Geralt reached around and grabbed him, pulling him over to his front. As Jaskier growled his annoyance, Geralt reminded him – again – “I won't sleep, thinking I'm going to roll onto you.” He shoved Jaskier into position against his chest and waited while Jaskier supposed he could accept the indignity of being made to sleep someplace other than his original choice.

He moved a bit, changing position slightly until satisfied, then settled down. Geralt waited a minute more, then another, then closed his eyes. Soon enough Jaskier began purring, and they fell asleep.

Geralt woke to find human-Jaskier in his arms, sound asleep with all the blankets tightly wrapped around him, leaving Geralt without. Geralt very carefully moved his hand, curling his fingers towards Jaskier's ribs.

“I can still have claws,” Jaskier said, sleepy and warm and not moving an inch from the warm cocoon he'd made.

Geralt kissed him. As Jaskier kissed him back, Geralt grabbed the edge of a blanket and pulled.

Fortunately, all he did was pull Jaskier (and a _fucking blanket_ because the nights had gotten fucking cold) on top of him, and when Jaskier landed, he just snuggled back in. Geralt let his head fall back on the pillow, and let himself doze. After breakfast, he'd broach the subject of taking Jaskier home to Kaer Morhen with him. Autumn had well-fallen, the nights cold with the promise of an early winter, and Geralt thought maybe Jaskier would enjoy teasing other Witchers for a change.

It would be good training for them, Geralt thought. Jaskier would be fine, there were plenty of nooks and crannies where Jaskier could hide when they chased after him, and Geralt did owe Lambert some good aggravation.

It would be good. Geralt shifted a bit and kissed Jaskier's ear. Very good.

Jaskier purred and went back to sleep.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] A Cat Don't Like (What's Easy to Come By)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722090) by [Koschei_B](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koschei_B/pseuds/Koschei_B)




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